ИконописI can’t believe I’m writing about Christmas gifts in the middle of January!  Why am I doing it?  I guess the reason is because the value of this very unpleasant gift is just now becoming clear to me.

On December 15th (my 41st wedding anniversary), I got sick with a very bad case of the flu.  I actually coughed so hard that I cracked one of my ribs.  I spent all of Christmas, the rest of December and the first week of January either in bed or on the couch – too sick to even be able to think.

Now I am starting to get better, but I still don’t get dressed unless I have to because the pressure of my bra on my cracked rib is too uncomfortable.  I also don’t have my energy back to where it was before I got sick and have to still rest a lot.

So what is good about this Christmas gift?

I was physically forced to stop doing.  For almost 2 years I had been a ‘doing’ machine.  You’d think as a ‘stress-relief’ specialist, I would know better.  But in the process of helping everyone else resolve their problems, I forgot about myself.  My life became imbalanced and other areas of my life suffered.

I wasn’t exercising and eating properly.  My spirituality suffered because Sunday was my only day of rest and I became very sporadic about church attendance.  My relationship with my husband and children suffered because I was always working.

As a result, my body was forced to take some serious action to get my attention.  And it did a very good job.  I have had over a month now of not being able to work.  Our finances are an interesting challenge but the experience has been invaluable to me.

I have reviewed and reorganized my schedule and given myself realistic limits on how much I can and will do in my business.  I have made sure that there is time for the other very important areas of my life.  And I have given myself some down time to do nothing – if I choose to.  I had a huge wake-up call.

Thank heavens it wasn’t something more serious.  So, as I said in the title, I definitely received a Christmas gift I didn’t want, but it was the most valuable gift I received this year.

What about you?  Is your life going the way you want?  Are there things in your life that you would like to change, but don’t know how?  If you are ready to get more balance in your life by removing some of the emotional blocks that are stopping you, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or Tapping) and I are ready, willing and (once again) able to help you.

икони цениChristmas is supposed to be, and can truly be, the most wonderful time of the year.  But, unfortunately, for many people – especially women – it is not.  According to the Life Stress Test, Christmas has a stress level of 15 out of a possible 100.

There are many reasons for this.  If you are already feeling stressed with the daily load of time, energy and money commitments you’re trying to balance, the extra demands of Christmas can truly be overwhelming.

What are the extra demands of Christmas?

1.  Money – Money to buy or make the gifts, the cost of the extra party food, payment for the Christmas concerts and programs that you may attend, money to give to Christmas charities, etc.

2.  Work – Most of the extra work of Christmas falls on the women.  We buy or make the gifts, we wrap them, we decorate, we make the special party foods, we are the ones who get involved in the different school, club and church Christmas concerts, choirs, programs, service projects, etc.

3.  Time – On top of our already heavy loads, we have to make the time to do all of the extra work.

4.  Relationships – I know that we all wish we had family relationships that were loving and supportive, but for many of us that just isn’t true.  We might be able to avoid seeing “X” during the year but on special holidays, like Christmas – we can’t.

This is also when we feel the pain of missing loved ones who have died or who are not physically able to be with us.  Feelings of loneliness are probably the greatest at Christmas time.

5.  Expectations – The media always presents the ideal Christmas.  However, the reality is that many, if not most of us, do not have “Hallmark” Christmases.  You know what I mean:  the loving, joyful, beautifully dressed family gathers around the dining room table groaning with delicious, artistically prepared food.  Then, after a wonderful meal, the joyful, happy family goes into the beautifully decorated living room to the gorgeous tree where they open and delight in the mountain of perfectly chosen gifts for everyone.

Who has that?  Almost nobody!  But we make ourselves exhausted, and, often miserable, as we try to live up to and compare our own lives to this fantasy.

As the former Queen of Christmas Stress, I have come to believe that all of this busyness and the incredible commercialism of Christmas might actually be part of Satan’s plan.  In all of this busyness, where does Christ fit in?

The true message of Christmas has nothing to do with presents, food, parties, clothes, decorations, etc. etc. etc.  After all, the first Christmas had none of those things.

It doesn’t matter what your age is, whether you are alone or surrounded by people, whether you are rich or poor.  The true message of Christmas is the unfathomable gift of the Son of God – sent to earth to save us all!

Maybe the best gift we can give ourselves and others this Christmas is to take a serious look at what we are doing.  What will happen if we drop this tradition?  Do we really need to do this?..or that?  Can we delegate, delete or simplify?

If I can help you release the negtive emotional blocks that are keeping you from enjoying the true peace and joy that can be found at Christmas, I would be honored to do so.

иконописA few weeks ago, I wrote an article about a 58 year old woman came to me with a completely debilitating fear of spiders.  When she saw a spider she would jump up and down, waving her arms in the air and shouting: “Mommy!  Mommy! Mommy!”  It was a childish, out-of-control reaction.  She knew it was irrational behavior and felt embarrassed and humiliated every time she did it.

After asking several questions, we realized that her fear and resentment of her mother was the cause of her phobia about spiders.  Using Emotional Freedom Technique, also called EFT or Tapping, within ten minutes that phobia was gone!

Because I’m not particularly fond of spiders myself, I wasn’t prepared to go find a large spider to test her but I did use my laptop and found a video, showing a variety of spiders: crawling, jumping, spinning, etc.  My client was able to look at the pictures with a smile on her face and no negative response at all.  She stated that before the session she would not have been able to stay in the same room as the video.

You always wonder when you have a “one-hit wonder” success like this if the problem is really resolved.  A few days ago, I received this email from my client.  She gave me permission to use her name.

               ”I wanted to prove to myself that I could just go ahead and look at the “Funny spider” video.   I did…no reaction!   And normally why would I even entertain the thought to begin with, but I did.   Thank you for helping me.     As always with hugs,   Colleen

So, for those of you who do have a fear or phobia that is interfering with your life, there is hope.    No matter what it is: a  fear of flying,  fear of heights,  fear of snakes, fear of elevators, fear of the dark, fear of public speaking, fear of being in crowds, fear of doctors, fear of dentists, fear of needles,  fear of dogs , etc. etc.   It doesn’t matter what the fear or phobia is.  It can be easily eliminated using the powerful tool of Emotional Freedom Technique.

????? ?? ??????A 58 year old woman came to me last week with a completely debilitating fear of spiders.  When she saw a spider she would jump up and down, waving her arms in the air and shouting: “Mommy!  Mommy! Mommy!”  It was a childish, out-of-control reaction.  She knew it was irrational behavior and felt embarrassed and humiliated every time she did it.

When I asked her to describe what came to her mind when she thought of spiders, she said “creepy-crawly” while she rubbed her hands through her hair and over her shoulders as she shuddered.  She then said “Blaaack” with the word prolonged.  I asked her if she thought that spiders were black and she looked confused for a moment and said “No”.   It was an interesting response, so I filed it away.

I asked her if she had a memory of a traumatic experience with spiders.  She replied that there were so many girls in her house that she had had to sleep in the closet.  She was always terrified because there were spiders there.  When she expressed her fears to her mother, the response was not sympathetic.  My client said her mother’s response was: “Don’t be such a bloody baby, for Christ’s sake!” in a very harsh voice.

   After several more negative comments about her mother and how abusive she had been, a light bulb went off in my mind.  I asked my client: “Is it possible that you think of your mother as a spider – as a Black Widow Spider?” 

Immediately tears welled up in her eyes and started running down her face.

  Her fear and resentment of her mother was the cause of her phobia about spiders.  Using Emotional Freedom Technique, also called EFT or Tapping, within ten minutes that phobia was gone!

Because I’m not particularly fond of spiders myself, I wasn’t prepared to go find a large spider to test her but I did use my laptop and found a video, showing a variety of spiders: crawling, jumping, spinning, etc.  My client was able to look at the pictures with a smile on her face and no negative response at all.  She stated that before the session she would not have been able to stay in the same room as the video.

It was an amazing experience!   Do you  have a fear or phobia that is interfering with your quality of life?  There are many different kinds: fear of flying,  fear of heights,  fear of snakes, fear of elevators, fear of the dark, fear of public speaking, fear of being in crowds, fear of doctors, fear of dentists, fear of needles,  fear of dogs and the list goes on and on.   It doesn’t matter what the fear is.  It can be easily eliminated using the powerful tool of Emotional Freedom Technique.

иконографияикониWe have all watched with horror and some fear, the unfolding story of the devastating trauma caused by the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, especially the nuclear reactor damage.

When I was growing up, tsunamis, earthquakes and hurricanes were  rare.  Now it seems that they are very common; especially earthquakes.  We see how devastating they are to the people that experience them and how helpless they were to avoid them.  It is frightening because we realize it could happen to us and we like to think that we are in control of our lives.

There are other areas of our life that we have little control over as well.  The effects can be just as devastating as an earthquake or tsumani.  What are they?

Accidents or the severe illness or death of a loved one can be devastating.  When my seven year old son David died, part of me died with him.  I lost myself for two years, just existing in a fog of grief.

Financial chaos in the economic community can severely affect our own lives, resulting in the loss of our savings or even our jobs.  The world is still reeling from the effects of the financial tsunami a couple of years ago, with multiple thousands of people losing their jobs and their homes.

The actions of people around us can be traumatizing.  How many of us have experienced the emotional agony of watching loved ones making destructive life-style choices, being completely helpless to stop them.

How do people respond to emotional earthquakes and tsunamis?  For most people, not very well.  Many turn to a variety of addictions to numb their pain.  I was an emotional eater.  Others bury it.  That is what I did with my son.  I had other children at home and didn’t have time to deal with the pain.  I just “kept on keeping on”.

The problem with burying negative emotions is that they always come up later in bigger and uglier ways – usually in health problems.  That is what happened to me.  Overnight I went from being able to do anything to being able to do nothing.  I spent three months in bed with a stress-related illness.

Are you aware that at least 85% of ALL illnesses, pain and injuries have an emotional foundation?  That doesn’t mean they are not real.  They are very real.  They just have an emotional cause.

Many times we can’t do anything about the emotional earthquake or tsumani that has affected our life.  We can’t bring back someone from the dead or make a loved one change their destructive behavior.  But we can do something about how we react and what it does to our lives.

When Western Medicine couldn’t help me, I studied complementary health and energy healing for eight years, looking for help for my own illness.  I found that the most effective tool for eliminating the negative effects of emotional earthquakes and tsunamis was Emotional Freedom Technique, also called EFT or Tapping.

EFT gave me back my health.  It gave me back my life.  Just as important, I learned why I got sick in the first place and what to do to make sure that it never happened again.

Here is what one of my clients wrote:   “Stress, trauma and guilt stay with you until a “Nuclear meltdown” becomes inevitable. Sheryl’s stress relief magic [EFT]  is the cooling water which make the reactor safe again. All the harmful by-products of whatever caused the meltdown to start are purged and a better life is empowered.”   Kitty Brown

If you are ready to rebuild your life and restore your peace, joy and personal power, I invite you to visit my website at www.SherylStanton.com.  Especially, click on the Events tab to learn about the powerful, peace restoring seminars and workshops that are coming up.

Your life can be the eye of the hurricane.  You can be calm, confident and in control – no matter what is happening, or not happening, around you.

What do you see in this picture?

This is my four year old grand daughter Mekenah, and her mother, my daughter Shauna.  It looks like they have huge eyes, doesn’t it?   The reality is that those huge eyes are just painted on.  Their real eyes are closed.

This picture symbolizes the way that so many of us live our lives.  We think that we see what is going on but that isn’t true.  We may see what is happening or not happening in our lives but most of us are completely blind to the cause.

We usually blame other people for our problems.  We say things like “It’s my parents fault!  It’s my teachers fault!  It’s my bosses fault!  It’s the government’s fault!  It’s God’s fault”  etc.

Or we may blame circumstances.  “If only I had a better education, were younger, were older, were prettier, were skinnier,  had more money, grew up in a better neighborhood, etc.

The truth is that we do not know why we do the things we do.  Or conversely, we  don’t know why we do not do the things that we want to do.  As a result, we keep getting results that we don’t want to have.  That knowledge is buried in our subconscious or below conscious mind.  And it is our subconscious mind, with it’s negative emotional conditioning,  that controls us.

If you are not living, doing, being or having what you want in any area of your life; in that area, you have negative emotional conditioning that is stopping you!  Until that negative emotional conditioning is eliminated, nothing is going to change in that area of your life.

In my 60 years of living, 8 years of research and 5 years of working as a stress relief specialist, the most powerful tool I have found for eliminating negative emotional conditioning is Emotional Freedom Technique, also called EFT or Tapping.

If you would like to stop being blind, remove the negative emotional conditioning, finally see clearly and move forward with your life, I invite you to learn how EFT can help you.

There are two opportunities coming up:

1.  First, is a 3 hour seminar, called: “the True Cause of Your Problems and How to Eliminate Them”.  The date is Wednesday, May 18^th from 7 to 10 pm.  The address is the Renaissance Retirement Resort at 6676 203rd St, Langley.

The link is: Langley2TrueCauseofYourProblemsandHowtoEliminateThem

2. Second, is the “Bliss and Balance for Life” 2-day Release Event.  The dates are Saturday and Sunday, June 11^th and 12^th from 9 to 5 each day.  The address is the same as above: Renaissance Retirement Resort at 6676 203rd St, Langley.

The link is:  JuneBlissandBalanceforLife2dayReleaseEvent

If you are unable to attend either of these two events and would

like more information, just email me at stressrelief@shaw.ca

Sheryl Stanton RN, Stress Relief Specialist

Recipient of the “Woman of Worth” Health and Wellness Award for 2010

The Olympics and Paralympics were held in Vancouver this year and it was an interesting experience.

I am not an athlete. I’m not interested in sports at all. As a matter of fact, when my husband starts talking to me about hockey, baseball, golf, football or whatever, my eyes glaze over.

I live one hour east of Vancouver, B.C. where the Winter Olympics were held this year. The province has been preparing for this event for the last five years and I have watched, cynically, as the proposed cost of the Olympics has probably quadrupled from what we were originally told it would cost us. Our children will probably still be paying for the privilege of having the Olympics and Paralympics here.

I wasn’t the least bit interested myself. But something unusual happened. In my opinion, Canadians are usually a pretty quiet, polite, reserved people. We leave the loud, exuberate patriotism to our neighbours to the south.

But suddenly everyone around me was sporting Canadiana. Canadian flags were in windows, painted on walls, attached to cars, on people’s clothing. Everyone was talking about how many medals we had won and what events were taking place.

My seven-month pregnant daughter and her husband took their three children: age 2, 4 and 6 into Vancouver for the day to see the special Olympic exhibits. Personally, I couldn’t imagine a more awful experience than to drag three little kids through the crowds all day while being seven months pregnant.

But I guess all the hoopla finally got to me. I decided that I would probably never again have the opportunity to participate in the Olympics. If I didn’t at least go into Vancouver and see some of the sights, I would regret it.

So, on the last Saturday of the Olympics (probably the worst time to go), in the rain, my husband and I drove part way in and then took the Sky Train into Vancouver. We had our picture taken in the Luge sled. I stood beside a First Nations man dressed in his ceremonial outfit and posed beside a statue of flying eagles.

Most of the time, we just walked around the city, in the rain. We walked from one venue to another, saw the two to four hour lineups for each one and decided we really didn’t want to see it that badly. Then we came home. But we went!

I watched my husband and son-in-law almost have heart attacks as the Canadian and American hockey team went into overtime, vying for the Gold – and Canada won! And I watched the closing ceremonies on TV.

I thought a lot about why events like the Olympics and Paralympics are so popular and I think the picture of the bird flying on the back of the eagle gives the reason. For a few days, we, the general public, get to rid on the backs of eagles. Their successes become our successes! Their Gold becomes our Gold. They are an inspiration to us.

There are many other eagles in our lives. Sometimes parents or grandparents. Sometimes teachers or coaches, political or social personalities will say or do something that will inspire us to try harder or be better. Think of the number of people that Oprah has helped to lift their vision.

I don’t remember who said it but I remember a quotation: “It is better to aim for the stars and drag your feet through the treetops than it is to aim for the treetops and drag your feet through the mud”.

Thank God for the eagles that help us see farther, try harder and fly higher than we would without their help!

If you are having a problem trying to be, do or have what you want in your life, it could be that there is hidden negative emotional conditioning that is holding you back. I can help you eliminate those, so that you can become an eagle and experience the thrill of flying yourself!

мебели от чам On February 22nd, I wrote an article about a comment  a new client had made to me.  She said that she had been “killing time ’til she died”.  In the article, I wrote about my mother, who had done the same thing and willed herself to death at the young age of 68.  I said that I thought there were many people who might be feeling the same way.  People who had given up on life, had no hopes or dreams and were just existing – killing time ’til they died.

A couple of days ago I received an email from this same client.  She has given me permission to share it with you, including her full name.   This brave lady said  that she wants the whole world to know that there is hope for a new life.  So, it is will great joy and humility that I share her comments with you now.

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“Hi Sheryl,

In your last newsletter, you mentioned what I said about, “killing time ’til I die” and how we rely on addictions to get us through.  I, like your Mom, was drinking myself into a stupor whenever I could.  I knew I was an alcoholic but considered myself a “functioning” one, whatever that is.

From our first session last month, I have not wanted a drink.  I have not thought about it or craved it.  I have been to the pub a few times with friends and even spent the night at one of their houses; where we used to drink ourselves into a stupor ’til we passed out.  She did try a couple of times to slip a drink in front of me and I just pushed it away.

I had been getting more unhappy with waking up not remembering the night before and was considering getting help but I thought it would be extremely hard to quit.  I find it  amazing that I do not feel withdrawals or cravings.  The desire is just gone!  I know that, with your help, I have resolved the reason for the drinking in the first place. 

I want you to know how wonderfully our session affected me, Sheryl.  I have been so much happier this last month.  It feels like this little bubble is growing inside of me.  I feel so much better in all aspects of my life.

With much appreciation,

Lorna Wilson, Langley, BC

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

If you are just “killing time til you die”, there is hope and there is help.  You can either have private, individual coaching with me, where we will focus completely on helping you eliminate those negative belief systems that are keeping you from having, doing or being what you want in life.

Or you can take one of my “Bliss and Balance for Life” two-day Release Events, where I will help you learn how to apply Emotional Freedom Technique to resolve your problems.  Just go to my website at www.SherylStanton.com and click on the “Events” tab to learn when they are being held.

A potential new client sent me an email the other day.  One of the things she said really struck me.  She said that before she’d heard about me she was just “killing time til she died.” 

I guess the reason it hit me so hard is that is exactly what my mother did.  My mother was a bitter, unhappy woman for most of her life.  For the last ten years of her life, she was practically a recluse.  She would get up at six in the morning and drink coffee, smoke cigarettes and play Solitaire until 2:00 pm. 

Then it was happy hour.  The coffee pot would be put away and she would drink whisky, smoke cigarettes and read pocket books until she went to bed at 7:00 pm.  That was her life until she willed herself to death at the age of 68.  What a tragedy!

In the five years that I have been working as a stress relief specialist, I have learned that my mother was not unique.  There are a great many people out there who have given up on life.  Who think that there is no hope, so why bother trying any more. 

So they numb their pain with a variety of addictions.  Or they bury it and pretend that everything is all right.  But it isn’t.  Nor will it ever be – until they eliminate the negative belief systems that are causing them to feel this way. 

I call it emotional mud and I was covered in it at one time in my life.  But I learned of a wonderful soap that would wash away emotional mud.  It is called Emotional Freedom Technique, EFT or Tapping.  

With the help of a skilled EFT practitioner and my own efforts, I was able to wash away my own emotional mud.  I was then free to reclaim my own personal power, restore my own peace and happiness and start rebuilding my life – the way I wanted it to be!  I have never been happier or felt more fulfilled.

If you are just “killing time til you die”, there is hope and there is help.  You can either have private, individual coaching with me, where we will focus completely on helping you eliminate those negative belief systems that are keeping you from having, doing or being what you want in life.

Or you can take one of my “Bliss and Balance for Life” two-day Release Events, where I will help you learn how to apply EFT to resolve your problems.  Just go to my website at www.SherylStanton.com and click on the “Events” tab to learn when they are being held.

It is the time of year when many people make New Year’s Resolutions.  “This is the year”, they say, “when I am finally going to …. “  You fill in the blank: quit smoking, stop drinking, lose weight, get fit, work less, spend more time with my family, etc.

Unfortunately, on average, about 80% of those same people will have quit making the effort and gone back to the same old, same old, before January 20th.  Why do you suppose that is? 

There are lots of articles on how to keep your New Year’s Resolutions and just as many articles written about why most people fail to keep them.  But I’ve never read an article that gives what I think is the main reason for the failures.

I believe the real reason we go back to what we were doing before is because there is an emotional payoff for doing it.  We get something from it; otherwise we wouldn’t be doing it.

I don’t drink or smoke, so I can’t identify with that but I do know about my New Year’s Resolutions to lose weight.  So I will use that as an example.

I was an emotional eater.  Whenever I got stressed or upset, I would go to the fridge or the store.  And it was never celery or carrot sticks that I wanted.  It was rich, creamy carbs that I craved; especially chocolate.

When I would eat chocolate, I would calm down and feel better.  Chocolate was rich and delicious and comforted me.  I didn’t eat it all the time but when I got stressed, I would binge. I would eat three of the large chocolate bars at one time, or a whole bag of chocolate chips.  One time I ate a one pound solid chocolate bunny – and had the world’s worst migraine headache!

So, even though I was packing on the pounds and hating how I looked, I still continued to eat.  Why?  Because it made me feel better!  There was an emotional payoff that I was getting.

I was in my 50′s before I learned about the negative belief systems I’d had all of my life.  I learned that they were what caused me to feel unhappy, unsatisfied and unfulfilled. 

As I was able to eliminate these destructive belief systems, I noticed an interesting side effect. I lost almost 50 pounds within 7 months!   And it was easy!  Because I felt good about myself, I no longer needed the emotional comfort that I got from eating chocolate.

I believe this emotional payoff is why so many diets fail.  A person may have the willpower and discipline to get the weight off.  But unless they have eliminated the underlying reason that caused them to put the weight on in the first place, they will just gain it back again.  That is why we see so many yo-yo dieters.  They lose the weight and then gain it back again, multiple times. 

Let’s transfer now to smoking.  What usually happens when people stop smoking?  They gain weight!  Why?  Because they still have the underlying emotional problem they were using cigarettes to pacify. Only now they are using a different pacifier: food.

I think people are  failing to solve their problems because they are starting at the wrong end.  Instead of trying to eliminate the comfort “whatever it is”, they should work on eliminating the emotional problem that is causing them to comfort themselves.

The tool that first opened my eyes to the negative belief systems I had was Emotional Freedom Technique (also called EFT or Tapping). It was also EFT that  helped me to eliminate the emotional problems I had because of them.  

 EFT made a world of difference in my own life.  For the five years that I have been working as a stress relief specialist, I have seen it create miracles in the lives of my clients.

If you are really serious about keeping your New Year’s Resolution this year, you might want to consider eliminating the cause first.  When the cause is gone, the symptom (smoking, drinking, overeating, workaholism, whatever) will also disappear.

What have you got to lose?  What do you want to gain?  What you want is possible, if you start at the beginning, instead of the end.

 I can help you do that! 

Sheryl Stanton  RN

Stress Relief Specialist

Recipient of the “Woman of Worth” Health and Wellness Award for 2010

 www.SherylStanton.com    email:  stressrelief@shaw.ca       phone: (604) 302 6374