If Christmas is Supposed to be the Happiest Time of the Year, Why Am I So Miserable?

Christmas is supposed to be, and can truly be, the most wonderful time of the year.  But, unfortunately, for many people – especially women – it is not.  According to the Life Stress Test, Christmas has a stress level of 15 out of a possible 100.

There are many reasons for this.  If you are already feeling stressed with the daily load of time, energy and money commitments you’re trying to balance, the extra demands of Christmas can truly be overwhelming.

 What are the extra demands of Christmas?

 1.  Money – Money to buy or make the gifts, the cost of the extra party food, payment for the Christmas concerts and programs that you may attend, money to give to Christmas charities, etc.

 2.  Work – Most of the extra work of Christmas falls on the women.  We buy or make the gifts, we wrap them, we decorate, we make the special party foods, we are the ones who get involved in the different school, club and church Christmas concerts, choirs, programs, service projects, etc.

 3.  Time – On top of our already heavy loads, we have to make the time to do all of the extra work.

 4.  Relationships – I know that we all wish we had family relationships that were loving and supportive, but for many of us that just isn’t true.  We might be able to avoid seeing “X” during the year but on special holidays, like Christmas – we can’t.  

This is also when we feel the pain of missing loved ones who have died or who are not physically able to be with us.  Feelings of loneliness are probably the greatest at Christmas time.

 5.  Expectations – The media always presents the ideal Christmas.  However, the reality is that many, if not most of us, do not have “Hallmark” Christmases.  You know what I mean:  the loving, joyful, beautifully dressed family gathers around the dining room table groaning with delicious, artistically prepared food.  Then, after a wonderful meal, the joyful, happy family goes into the beautifully decorated living room to the gorgeous tree where they open and delight in the mountain of perfectly chosen gifts for everyone. 

Who has that?  Almost nobody!  But we make ourselves exhausted, and, often miserable, as we try to live up to and compare our own lives to this fantasy. 

 As the former Queen of Christmas Stress, I have come to believe that all of this busyness and the incredible commercialism of Christmas might actually be part of Satan’s plan.  In all of this busyness, where does Christ fit in? 

The true message of Christmas has nothing to do with presents, food, parties, clothes, decorations, etc. etc. etc.  After all, the first Christmas had none of those things.

It doesn’t matter what your age is, whether you are alone or surrounded by people, whether you are rich or poor.  The true message of Christmas is the unfathomable gift of the Son of God – sent to earth to save us all!

 Maybe the best gift we can give ourselves and others this Christmas is to take a serious look at what we are doing.  What will happen if we drop this tradition?  Do we really need to do this?..or that?  Can we delegate, delete or simplify?

 Let’s make the effort to put a little more Peace and Joy back into OUR Christmas.  My Christmas wish for each of us is that we will truly feel the Christmas Spirit this year. 

 Sheryl Stanton R.N., Stress Relief Coach