A previous post discussed the third biggest mistake that women over 30 were making that was keeping them unhappy, unhealthy and unhappy.

This short video clip identifies the second biggest mistake.  To view the video, click on this link:             2nd biggest mistake.

I would love to hear your comments.

      Sheryl Stanton RN

Cottonwood seed - summer snow

 As I was walking along a forest path a couple of days ago, I saw an amazing thing.  It was snowing – in July!  White puffy flakes were falling from the sky, while the sun was shining! 

 On the ground, was a layer of white.  Of course, it was cottonwood seed time and instead of snow flakes, the sky and the ground was full of cotton wood seeds.

I noticed something interesting about the way the seeds were falling to the earth.  In the sheltered areas, the seeds gently floated to the ground.  But in the open areas, the seeds were blown in every direction by the wind.

I thought of how little control the cottonwood seeds had as to what their final destination was going to be.  I looked at the seeds all around me.  Some landed in the river beside the path and were drowned.  Some landed on the gravel pathway, where they were wasted.  Some landed in the trees.  Some were lucky enough to land on fertile ground, where they could germinate and become what they were meant to be – new cottonwood trees.

The cottonwood tree takes into account that most of its seeds will be wasted and creates millions of seeds.

Then I thought about people and how many of them are just like the cottonwood seeds.  They are being blown about by every wind or influence that comes into their lives.  They have no sense of direction or purpose and seem to fall into their lives by accident.  The big difference between us and the cottonwood tree, is that we only have one life to live.

Look at your own life.  Are you living the life that you thought you would?  Did you purposefully choose to do what you are doing now?

Fortunately for us, unlike the cottonwood seed, if we don’t like where we’ve landed, we can move and change.  We don’t have to stay in stressful situations and suffer problems with our health, relationships and finances.

If you would like help getting stress relief,  out of a bad situation or finding a new direction, I invite you to visit http://www.SherylStanton.com.

• I want to lose weight
• I need to get a better job
• I have to go to school
• I want to be a better parent
• I need to be a better ….(fill in the blank)

• For “I want to lose weight” -  then men might hit on me and I might not be safe
• For “I need to get a better job” – but they will find out I’m not good enough to do the job
• For “I have to go to school” – but what if I’m not smart enough to do the work; what will people think if I fail
• For “I want to be a better parent” – I’m not a good person, what do I know about being a good parent
• For “I need to be a better….” – but I’m not good enough, smart enough, don’t deserve to have a better —, can’t do it, etc. etc. etc.

Do you get the idea?

Which is the Greater Miracle: Birth or Growth?

On December 18th, I had the privilege of attending the birth of my sixth grandchild and helping to care for him for the first few days of his life.

 I think there are few things more soul-filling than to have a new baby sleep on your shoulder; to lightly touch his velvety skin with your cheek and smell that fleeting new baby smell.

As I held that beautiful baby in my arms, I thought of the six babies that I had given birth to; three of whom are parents themselves now.  People talk about the miracle of birth and I agree; but to me, growth is just as great a miracle.  To think that a newborn, helpless babe can grow up to one day create a child of their own is truly stunning!

But birth and physical growth is a natural event.  We didn’t have anything to do with our birth and until we’re old enough to start making choices that could interfere with the process, we don’t have much control over our physical growth either.

However, we have 100% total control over our personal growth.  This is the time of year when people make, and usually break, New Year’s Resolutions.  You know the ones I’m talking about.  This is the year that I lose weight, get out of debt, start that business, take that holiday, etc. However, statistics show that 90% of New Year’s Resolutions are broken before February 1st.

Why is that?  There are lots of reasons given but through my own experiences and the many years of research I’ve done on this subject, I think it boils down to one answer.  The goal is outside of the person’s belief system about themselves. 

We each have a belief system about who and what we are, and we have to be true to it – even if it is negative and harmful (which it usually is). Our belief systems were installed, usually by our families, and were well established before we even went to school. 

As a stress relief coach, I’ve found that the majority of negative belief systems involve having no value as yourself – only in what you do, being responsible to meet other people’s needs and being a failure, not deserving of good things.

This conditioning is subconscious (below the conscious mind level), so we are not aware that it’s there.  However, until you change that conditioning and remove these negative emotional blocks, you will never be able to grow.

The exciting news is that you can change your belief systems.  You can break the negative emotional blocks that are keeping you from being, doing or having what you want in your life.  The most powerful tool I’ve found to accomplish this, is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). 

I was a motivational course junkie for over 30 years.  I took dozens of self improvement courses.  I was taught by some of the motivational giants: Bob Proctor, Brian Tracey, Steven Covey.  I did the Firewalk with Tony Robbins!  I had all the knowledge about how to improve my life but nothing changed.  Why?  Because I had negative emotional blocks inside, that I didn’t even know were there, that I had to be true to.  They would not allow me to apply the information so that I could make the desired transformation.

Through EFT, I learned about these limiting belief systems.  More important, I learned how to break them.  Most important of all, I did break them!  I am finally free to be who I was always meant to be!  I can’t begin to tell you what a difference that has made in the way I feel about myself and in my life.

So, if you are sick and tired of the same old, same old, there is a way out.  You can start again.  Not only can you start growing again, you can actually experience a rebirth – only this time, you will control the process.  Are you ready? 

For information on how to break negative emotional conditioning, contact Sheryl Stanton at www.SherylStanton.com, by email: stressrelief@shaw.ca or by phone: (604) 302-6374.

div class=mceTempDo you ever feel like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew?  Just like this seagull, where the starfish he is trying to eat is half his size. /div
div class=mceTempI watched that seagull for about half an hour as he picked up the starfish, tried to take a bite and then dropped it on the ground again.  I don’t know if he was ever able to eat it or not./div
div class=mceTempI thought of how that seagull reminded me of my own life.  So many times in the past, I have tried to do too much.  I used to laughingly say that if I didn’t have at least half a dozen projects on the go, that my life was boring and I’d go looking for something else to add./div
div class=mceTempfont style=position: absolute;overflow: hidden;height: 0;width: 0a href=http://www.videnov.com/#1084;#1077;#1073;#1077;#1083;#1080; #1074;#1072;#1088;#1085;#1072;/a/fontThe problem with living your life that way is that you don’t  have time to do a really outstanding job of anything and/or you don’t get to enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done.  I’ve heard it described as taking time to smell the roses./div
div class=mceTempWhy do we do that to ourselves?  Sometimes, circumstances make our lives incredibly busy.  For example, I had five children born within six years; one of whom was seriously handicapped.  That was an incredibly busy and stressful time of my life!/div
div class=mceTempBut I added to the stress by taking on other things:/div
div class=mceTemp1.  I worked part time as a nurse./div
div class=mceTemp2.  I started a home-based business./div
div class=mceTemp3.  I was very active in our church, both in church callings and in the choir./div
div class=mceTemp4.  I kept journals for myself and my five children./div
div class=mceTemp5.  I made quilts for each member of the family, etc. etc. etc./div
div class=mceTempI understand now what was driving me to perform back then.  I had a negative belief system that I had no value as myself, only in what I did.  So, I had to keep producing – just to feel like I was of worth.  Of course, I had absolutely no idea that I had a negative belief system like that.  It was subconscious (below my conscious level of understanding).  But it determined every aspect of my life and eventually wrecked my health./div
div class=mceTempDoes that sound familiar to you?  Are you unhappy, unhealthy, unfulfilled, unproductive, unprofitable?  If you are, I understand because I’ve been there myself.  I learned about the negative belief systems I had and I also learned how to break them.  If you want to know more, visit my website: a title=Sheryl Stanton’s website href=http://www.SherylStanton.comwww.SherylStanton.com/a/div

I have always liked snails.  I love the colors and shapes of their shells.  The other day when I was walking along the dyke by the Fraser River in Mission, BC there were dozens of snails along the path. 

As I looked at them, I realized an interesting thing.  The snails inside their shells probably thought they were  hidden away and safe.  But they were going nowhere and not only that, they were in danger of  being stepped on and killed!  The snails who had the courage to come out of their shells were moving – off the path and towards the grass.  In the grass, they would be safer and they would also have access to food.

I thought of how much we could learn from the snails.  How many of us are stuck in our “safe” routine, doing the same thing we’ve been doing for years?  We may not be happy or fulfilled but we are safe.  But are we really?  Someone once said that if you stay stuck in a rut, it becomes your grave.  We have to have the courage to leave our shell, stick our neck out and move.

I heard a minister say that the saddest thing about a funeral was not the death of the body.  It was the death of all the dreams.  Is there something that you have always wanted to do?  Are you doing anything about it?  You might not be able to do the whole thing, but are you doing anything to fulfill that dream? 

If you’re not, what kind of a snail are you?

I went for a walk along the dyke a few days ago and I saw the plant (pictured above on the left) lying on the ground.  I stopped and picked it up (pictured above on the right). 

But I knew that it would fall down the next time the wind blew.  Why was that?  The plant was too top heavy and the roots were not strong enough or deep enough to keep it up. 

I thought how often that plant represents our own lives.  Too many of us have weak roots.  Our early childhood conditioning and/or negative things that have happened in our past do not give us the strength we need to withstand the problems and challenges that are part of everyday life. 

When the wind blows (problems arise) in our life, we are not strong enough to withstand them and we fall.  This can show up in many ways: any kind of addiction, including overeating (the drug of choice for many people), depression, anxiety, fears and phobias, self-defeating behaviors and attitudes.

Unlike this plant though, there is something we can do to strengthen our roots and rebuild our lives the way we want them to be.  The first thing we have to do is realize that we are responsible for the quality of our lives.  This is incredibly powerful because it means that we have the power to change what we don’t like. 

The most powerful tool I’ve ever found for digging out and eliminating the weak, damaged roots from the past and replacing them with strong, healthy roots that will support and sustain our growth is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). 

Just like I helped that plant to stand again (even if only for a short time), I can help you strengthen your roots and rebuilt your life the way you want it to be.  There is always hope!