Cottonwood seed - summer snow

 As I was walking along a forest path a couple of days ago, I saw an amazing thing.  It was snowing – in July!  White puffy flakes were falling from the sky, while the sun was shining! 

 On the ground, was a layer of white.  Of course, it was cottonwood seed time and instead of snow flakes, the sky and the ground was full of cotton wood seeds.

I noticed something interesting about the way the seeds were falling to the earth.  In the sheltered areas, the seeds gently floated to the ground.  But in the open areas, the seeds were blown in every direction by the wind.

I thought of how little control the cottonwood seeds had as to what their final destination was going to be.  I looked at the seeds all around me.  Some landed in the river beside the path and were drowned.  Some landed on the gravel pathway, where they were wasted.  Some landed in the trees.  Some were lucky enough to land on fertile ground, where they could germinate and become what they were meant to be – new cottonwood trees.

The cottonwood tree takes into account that most of its seeds will be wasted and creates millions of seeds.

Then I thought about people and how many of them are just like the cottonwood seeds.  They are being blown about by every wind or influence that comes into their lives.  They have no sense of direction or purpose and seem to fall into their lives by accident.  The big difference between us and the cottonwood tree, is that we only have one life to live.

Look at your own life.  Are you living the life that you thought you would?  Did you purposefully choose to do what you are doing now?

Fortunately for us, unlike the cottonwood seed, if we don’t like where we’ve landed, we can move and change.  We don’t have to stay in stressful situations and suffer problems with our health, relationships and finances.

If you would like help getting stress relief,  out of a bad situation or finding a new direction, I invite you to visit http://www.SherylStanton.com.

• I want to lose weight
• I need to get a better job
• I have to go to school
• I want to be a better parent
• I need to be a better ….(fill in the blank)

• For “I want to lose weight” -  then men might hit on me and I might not be safe
• For “I need to get a better job” – but they will find out I’m not good enough to do the job
• For “I have to go to school” – but what if I’m not smart enough to do the work; what will people think if I fail
• For “I want to be a better parent” – I’m not a good person, what do I know about being a good parent
• For “I need to be a better….” – but I’m not good enough, smart enough, don’t deserve to have a better —, can’t do it, etc. etc. etc.

Do you get the idea?

How much of your time do you spend remembering and living in the land of  ”shoulda”, “coulda”, “woulda” and “if only”?  You know what I mean.  “If only I’d done this”; “I shoulda said that”; “I coulda been a … or “I woulda been if only…”

Most of us spend a great deal of time think about the past; reliving negative events in a repeating loop that continue to make us feel bad.

Conversely, how much time do you spend dreaming about the glorious future; living on “Someday Isle”?  This is what I did a lot of.  I was married to a student husband and had five children under the age of six, with one child who was seriously handicapped. 

I was so overwhelmed with stress at that time that my only escape was to live in my mind. I may have been there physically, but in my mind I was on a tropical island somewhere or visiting the pyramids of Egypt.  I could even tell you what I was wearing or eating.

The unfortunate result of this is that I have very few memories of my children when they were young.  Now, I delight in my grandchildren and think: “my children must have been as cute or as funny”.  But I don’t remember because I wasn’t “there” in my mind.

What are you missing or losing out on by not living in the “Now” of your life?

I had a sappy romantic dream last night.  The words made me cringe but the story was very meaningful.  In my dream, the girl’s true love was trapped in the spirit world and the only way he could be released to come to her is if she did certain things.  He kept sending her messages or impressions to do this or go there or get that to free him.  But she just kept on dreaming of what her life would be like when she met her dream lover.

Then the scene changed and she was on her death bed: a dried up, lonely bitter old woman who had never met her dream lover.

The scene changed again and this time she was in the spirit world where her lover was but she couldn’t see him and he couldn’t reach her because she spent all her time thinking about the past and what she “shoulda” done.

The tragedy in this dream is that she could have had all she had dreamed about her entire life if she had only followed the promptings or impressions she had received and taken action in her “Now”.

The exact same thing is true with us.  We can’t do anything about the past, except learn from it.  And the future isn’t here yet.  The only thing we have any control over is this moment.  In reality, our life is nothing but a series of moments.  And the collection of what we do in the moment or “Now” will add up to become our future: good or bad.

There is an old cliché, that although heard enough times to be trite does not make it any less true: “the past is history, the future is a mystery, and the present is a gift–that’s why it’s called the “present.”

One exercise to help you become aware of where your mind actually is, is to do a one hour check for a few days.  Get a one hour timer and for a few days, set it to go off every hour that you are awake.  Record where your mind was when the timer goes off and see how often you were actually in the “Now”.  It will be a huge wakeup call.

One way to make sure you are in the present or “Now” of your life is to rub your fingers on something around you.  Feeling the texture of something is a “Now” experience and will help keep you focused on what is happening around you.

By living and working in the “Now” of your life, not only will your life be more enjoyable today, so will your future.

Bird flying on eagle's back

The Olympics and Paralympics are just over in Vancouver and it has been an interesting experience. 

I wasn’t the least bit interested myself.  But something unusual happened. In my opinion, Canadians are usually a pretty quiet, polite, reserved people.  We leave the loud, exuberate patriotism to our neighbours to the south.

But suddenly everyone around me was sporting Canadiana.  Canadian flags were in windows, painted on walls, attached to cars, on people’s clothing.  Everyone was talking about how many medals we had won and what events were taking place.   

My seven-month pregnant daughter and her husband took their three children: age 2, 4 and 6 into Vancouver for the day to see the special Olympic exhibits.  Personally, I couldn’t imagine a more awful experience than to drag three little kids through the crowds all day while being seven months pregnant.

But I guess all the hoopla finally got to me.  I decided that I would probably never again have the opportunity to participate in the Olympics.  If I didn’t at least go  into Vancouver and see some of the sights, I would regret it.

So, on the last Saturday of the Olympics (probably the worst time to go), in the rain, my husband and I drove part way in and then took the Sky Train into Vancouver.  We had our picture taken in the Luge sled.  I stood beside a First Nations man dressed in his ceremonial outfit and posed beside a statue of flying eagles. 

Most of the time, we just walked around the city, in the rain. We walked from one venue to another, saw the two to four hour lineups for each one and decided we really didn’t want to see it that badly.  Then we came home.  But we went!

I watched my husband and son-in-law almost have heart attacks as the Canadian and American hockey team went into overtime, vying for the Gold – and Canada won!  And I watched the closing ceremonies on TV.

I thought a lot about why events like the Olympics and Paralympics are so popular and I think the picture of the bird flying on the back of the eagle gives the reason.  For a few days, we, the general public, get to rid on the backs of eagles.  Their successes become our successes!  Their Gold becomes our Gold.  They are an inspiration to us.

In a couple of weeks the Winter Olympics will take place in Vancouver, BC.  Athletes from all over the world have come to compete for the coveted “Gold” medallion; showing that they are the best in the world at their sport. 

Having the Olympics in my own back yard (I live in Mission, just one hour east of Vancouver), started me thinking about the times I’ve gone for my own “Gold” and the number of times that I’ve failed.  I’ve tried a number of different businesses: home party plans; network marketing, commodity trading, various sales jobs, management positions, etc.  Also, I’m a registered nurse by profession and still work part time as a nurse. 

I worked very hard at some of those businesses and spent a lot of money I didn’t have, trying to make them successful.  So why weren’t they?  There are many reasons: some good, some bad.  Read the rest of this entry »

Which is the Greater Miracle: Birth or Growth?

On December 18th, I had the privilege of attending the birth of my sixth grandchild and helping to care for him for the first few days of his life.

 I think there are few things more soul-filling than to have a new baby sleep on your shoulder; to lightly touch his velvety skin with your cheek and smell that fleeting new baby smell.

As I held that beautiful baby in my arms, I thought of the six babies that I had given birth to; three of whom are parents themselves now.  People talk about the miracle of birth and I agree; but to me, growth is just as great a miracle.  To think that a newborn, helpless babe can grow up to one day create a child of their own is truly stunning!

But birth and physical growth is a natural event.  We didn’t have anything to do with our birth and until we’re old enough to start making choices that could interfere with the process, we don’t have much control over our physical growth either.

However, we have 100% total control over our personal growth.  This is the time of year when people make, and usually break, New Year’s Resolutions.  You know the ones I’m talking about.  This is the year that I lose weight, get out of debt, start that business, take that holiday, etc. However, statistics show that 90% of New Year’s Resolutions are broken before February 1st.

Why is that?  There are lots of reasons given but through my own experiences and the many years of research I’ve done on this subject, I think it boils down to one answer.  The goal is outside of the person’s belief system about themselves. 

We each have a belief system about who and what we are, and we have to be true to it – even if it is negative and harmful (which it usually is). Our belief systems were installed, usually by our families, and were well established before we even went to school. 

As a stress relief coach, I’ve found that the majority of negative belief systems involve having no value as yourself – only in what you do, being responsible to meet other people’s needs and being a failure, not deserving of good things.

This conditioning is subconscious (below the conscious mind level), so we are not aware that it’s there.  However, until you change that conditioning and remove these negative emotional blocks, you will never be able to grow.

The exciting news is that you can change your belief systems.  You can break the negative emotional blocks that are keeping you from being, doing or having what you want in your life.  The most powerful tool I’ve found to accomplish this, is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). 

I was a motivational course junkie for over 30 years.  I took dozens of self improvement courses.  I was taught by some of the motivational giants: Bob Proctor, Brian Tracey, Steven Covey.  I did the Firewalk with Tony Robbins!  I had all the knowledge about how to improve my life but nothing changed.  Why?  Because I had negative emotional blocks inside, that I didn’t even know were there, that I had to be true to.  They would not allow me to apply the information so that I could make the desired transformation.

Through EFT, I learned about these limiting belief systems.  More important, I learned how to break them.  Most important of all, I did break them!  I am finally free to be who I was always meant to be!  I can’t begin to tell you what a difference that has made in the way I feel about myself and in my life.

So, if you are sick and tired of the same old, same old, there is a way out.  You can start again.  Not only can you start growing again, you can actually experience a rebirth – only this time, you will control the process.  Are you ready? 

For information on how to break negative emotional conditioning, contact Sheryl Stanton at www.SherylStanton.com, by email: stressrelief@shaw.ca or by phone: (604) 302-6374.

div class=mceTempDo you ever feel like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew?  Just like this seagull, where the starfish he is trying to eat is half his size. /div
div class=mceTempI watched that seagull for about half an hour as he picked up the starfish, tried to take a bite and then dropped it on the ground again.  I don’t know if he was ever able to eat it or not./div
div class=mceTempI thought of how that seagull reminded me of my own life.  So many times in the past, I have tried to do too much.  I used to laughingly say that if I didn’t have at least half a dozen projects on the go, that my life was boring and I’d go looking for something else to add./div
div class=mceTempfont style=position: absolute;overflow: hidden;height: 0;width: 0a href=http://www.videnov.com/#1084;#1077;#1073;#1077;#1083;#1080; #1074;#1072;#1088;#1085;#1072;/a/fontThe problem with living your life that way is that you don’t  have time to do a really outstanding job of anything and/or you don’t get to enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done.  I’ve heard it described as taking time to smell the roses./div
div class=mceTempWhy do we do that to ourselves?  Sometimes, circumstances make our lives incredibly busy.  For example, I had five children born within six years; one of whom was seriously handicapped.  That was an incredibly busy and stressful time of my life!/div
div class=mceTempBut I added to the stress by taking on other things:/div
div class=mceTemp1.  I worked part time as a nurse./div
div class=mceTemp2.  I started a home-based business./div
div class=mceTemp3.  I was very active in our church, both in church callings and in the choir./div
div class=mceTemp4.  I kept journals for myself and my five children./div
div class=mceTemp5.  I made quilts for each member of the family, etc. etc. etc./div
div class=mceTempI understand now what was driving me to perform back then.  I had a negative belief system that I had no value as myself, only in what I did.  So, I had to keep producing – just to feel like I was of worth.  Of course, I had absolutely no idea that I had a negative belief system like that.  It was subconscious (below my conscious level of understanding).  But it determined every aspect of my life and eventually wrecked my health./div
div class=mceTempDoes that sound familiar to you?  Are you unhappy, unhealthy, unfulfilled, unproductive, unprofitable?  If you are, I understand because I’ve been there myself.  I learned about the negative belief systems I had and I also learned how to break them.  If you want to know more, visit my website: a title=Sheryl Stanton’s website href=http://www.SherylStanton.comwww.SherylStanton.com/a/div

I have always liked snails.  I love the colors and shapes of their shells.  The other day when I was walking along the dyke by the Fraser River in Mission, BC there were dozens of snails along the path. 

As I looked at them, I realized an interesting thing.  The snails inside their shells probably thought they were  hidden away and safe.  But they were going nowhere and not only that, they were in danger of  being stepped on and killed!  The snails who had the courage to come out of their shells were moving – off the path and towards the grass.  In the grass, they would be safer and they would also have access to food.

I thought of how much we could learn from the snails.  How many of us are stuck in our “safe” routine, doing the same thing we’ve been doing for years?  We may not be happy or fulfilled but we are safe.  But are we really?  Someone once said that if you stay stuck in a rut, it becomes your grave.  We have to have the courage to leave our shell, stick our neck out and move.

I heard a minister say that the saddest thing about a funeral was not the death of the body.  It was the death of all the dreams.  Is there something that you have always wanted to do?  Are you doing anything about it?  You might not be able to do the whole thing, but are you doing anything to fulfill that dream? 

If you’re not, what kind of a snail are you?

This is the last blog on this series of Goal Setting.  If you remember, the other Success Keys are: # 1: Be Committed; # 2: Create a Realistic Plan and # 3: Be Prepared for Setbacks.  We also learned how to use EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique to quickly, easily, painlessly and permanently eliminate our cravings and the emotional blocks that interfere with successfully reaching our goals

Today’s blog is on the final Goal Setting Success Key # 4: Tracking Your Progress.

Reaching goals usually takes time and often, we don’t see results for a while.  Unless you have a way of tracking your progress, you won’t know if you are actually accomplishing your goal.  This is often when people get discouraged and quit. Read the rest of this entry »

 In the last blog on goal setting, we talked about the two reasons why people fail at reaching their goals – especially weight loss goals.  They were giving in to cravings and emotional eating.  I introduced EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) as the fastest, easiest and most effective way to eliminate both of these setbacks in weight loss.  And I promised to share my experience with breaking my chocolate addiction.

I am a Stress Relief Coach and often put on seminars where I teach people how to eliminate their stress, using EFT.  After teaching the basics, I will ask for volunteers to help me demonstrate how effective EFT is for so many different problems. 

I always like to use chocolate as an example of an addiction, because it was mine and I knew how people felt around chocolate.  When my life was stressful I would turn to chocolate. I craved the richness and comfort that eating chocolate gave me. Once I started I couldn’t stop. I would eat the whole thing.

I never deliberately used EFT for my own chocolate addiction but when I starting using chocolate as a demonstration in the seminars, I would tap along  with eveyone else - using some of my own reasons for why people eat chocolate. And you know what? I worked for me, even though I wasn’t concentrating on my own reasons for eating chocolate.

I work as a nurse part time in a nursing home in Abbotsford, B.C.  and Christmas is the worst time for chocolate as all of the resident’s families give chocolates to the nursing staff.  At one time there were ten boxes of chocolates at the nursing station. As well, our family had five boxes of chocolates given to us.  Talk about temptation!

Before EFT, I would have eaten most of the chocolates.  But I didn’t have even one!  And it wasn’t because I was being strong or disciplined.  I just didn’t want them.  Now, that is the way to diet!  There is no diet.

I just don’t have the craving any more! Is there an addiction that you would like to get rid of? Cigarettes? Alcohol? Drugs? Gambling? Whatever? With EFT, you can be free of the addiction Forever – Guaranteed!

In the next and final blog on this series of goal setting, I will introduce the final success key.