Archive for the 'What Causes Stress' Category
Monday, August 23, 2010 posted by Sheryl
Women’s Wellness Weekend Retreat Will Help You Wash the “Emotional Mud” From Your Spirit
Look at this baby. See the sad, questioning eyes and the quivering lips? Can you see that the baby is covered in mud and is unhappy about it?
That unhappy baby is covered in ”Emotional Mud”. Just like the baby, each one of us has some ”Emotional Mud” on our spirit.
What is “Emotional Mud” and how do we get it?
As a baby, we were happy, confident, courageous, positive and loving. But something happened. Most of us lost that. Today, less than 1 in 5 women feel good about themselves!
We were all raised by imperfect people who were trying to deal with their own “stuff”. They may, or they may not have done the best they could, but each one of us was splashed with our own ”Emotional Mud”.
If we came from an abusive home, the emotional mud was dumped on our spirits. If we came from a good home, it was dripped on.
Small children do not see their parents as individuals; with their own wants and needs. They do not realize that their parent is sick or worried or tired. All they see is that their “God” at that age, is angry or unhappy.
And they interalize it as their fault. They are not good enough. There must be something wrong with them. They are bad. They don’t deserve to be treated well.
This “Emotional Mud” becomes the basis of the child’s belief system; who they think they are and what they think they deserve to have in life. For the rest of their life, they will attract to themselves people and experiences that will validate their belief system, no matter how wrong or harmful it is.
This “Emotional Mud” belief system is subconscious (below conscious awareness). This means that we are not aware that it is there but it controls every aspect of our lives – usually negatively.
This is why we do things we don’t want to do. Or why we don’t do things we do want to do. Why we keep getting results we don’t want to have, no matter how hard we try.
And we will continue this behavior all through our adult life - until we become aware of our “Emotional Mud” belief system and wash it off.
Think of your own childhood and then think of what is happening in your life right now. If you are having a problem in any area of your life; in that area you have an “Emotional Mud” negative belief system. Your life will never improve (in that area) until you wash away the emotional mud.
And it can be easily done – if you use the right kind of soap!
The Women’s Wellness Weekend Retreat, being held on Sept. 17 to 19 at a comfortable lodge half way between Mission and Maple Ridge, will reveal the kind of soap needed to wash away “Emotional Mud”.
It will also teach you how to use the ”soap” to help resolve some of the problems caused by “Emotional Mud”: health issues, relationshop problems, financial difficulties, addictions, parenting problems, work or career stress, etc.
My name is Sheryl Stanton. I’m a registered nurse, stress relief specialist, author of four stress-relief books and DVD courses. I had the honor of being chosen to receive the “Woman of Worth” Health and Wellness Award for 2010.
I connect people to the TRUE CAUSE of their Stress. Then, I help them ELIMINATE IT – FOREVER!
Join me at the Women’s Wellness Weekend Retreat and let me show you how! It could be the most important decision you ever make!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010 posted by Sheryl
This is the last of three blogs that have identified the 3 biggest mistakes why most women over 30 are unhappy, unhealthy and unfulfilled.
The first video clip identified the 3rd biggest mistake as the “Sponge Syndrome”. The second video revealed the second biggest mistake as “Giving Away Their Power”. If you did not see them, they can be viewed at
www.Youtube.com/SherylStanton1.
Today’s video clip will discuss what is the biggest mistake that most women over 30 are making. Here is the link:
Biggest Mistake.
I would love to hear what you think.
Sheryl Stanton RN
Stress Relief Specialist
Winner of the “Women of Worth” Health and Wellness Award for 2010
(604) 302-6374
Tuesday, August 10, 2010 posted by Sheryl
A previous post discussed the third biggest mistake that women over 30 were making that was keeping them unhappy, unhealthy and unhappy.
This short video clip identifies the second biggest mistake. To view the video, click on this link: 2nd biggest mistake.
I would love to hear your comments.
Sheryl Stanton RN
Stress Relief Specialist
Winner of the “Women of Worth” Health and Wellness Award for 2010
(604) 302-6374
Sunday, July 18, 2010 posted by Sheryl
Cottonwood seed - summer snow
As I was walking along a forest path a couple of days ago, I saw an amazing thing. It was snowing – in July! White puffy flakes were falling from the sky, while the sun was shining!
On the ground, was a layer of white. Of course, it was cottonwood seed time and instead of snow flakes, the sky and the ground was full of cotton wood seeds.
I noticed something interesting about the way the seeds were falling to the earth. In the sheltered areas, the seeds gently floated to the ground. But in the open areas, the seeds were blown in every direction by the wind.
I thought of how little control the cottonwood seeds had as to what their final destination was going to be. I looked at the seeds all around me. Some landed in the river beside the path and were drowned. Some landed on the gravel pathway, where they were wasted. Some landed in the trees. Some were lucky enough to land on fertile ground, where they could germinate and become what they were meant to be – new cottonwood trees.
The cottonwood tree takes into account that most of its seeds will be wasted and creates millions of seeds.
Then I thought about people and how many of them are just like the cottonwood seeds. They are being blown about by every wind or influence that comes into their lives. They have no sense of direction or purpose and seem to fall into their lives by accident. The big difference between us and the cottonwood tree, is that we only have one life to live.
Look at your own life. Are you living the life that you thought you would? Did you purposefully choose to do what you are doing now?
Fortunately for us, unlike the cottonwood seed, if we don’t like where we’ve landed, we can move and change. We don’t have to stay in stressful situations and suffer problems with our health, relationships and finances.
If you would like help getting stress relief, out of a bad situation or finding a new direction, I invite you to visit http://www.SherylStanton.com.
Saturday, July 10, 2010 posted by Sheryl
Do you know what the Third Biggest Mistake Women Over 30 are Making that is Keeping Them Unhappy, Unhealthy and Unfulfilled?
Sheryl Stanton RN
Stress Relief Specialist
(604) 302 -6374
Sunday, June 6, 2010 posted by Sheryl
I attended the ”Women of Worth” Conference with 700 other women at the Hotel Vancouver on Saturday, May 29th. I had a table display there but I was also there for another reason.
I was there as a finalist for the “Women of Worth” Health and Wellness Award for 2010. What made it especially meaningful for me, is that it was two of my private stress-relief clients who nominated me.
To my delight, I was chosen to receive the award! You can see in the picture that I am standing beside Christine Awram, the president and founder of “Women of Worth”.
I didn’t start out to be a stress relief specialist. Originally, I was just looking for a way to get my own health back after being in bed for three months with a stress-related illness. I was told at the age of 45 that I was going to have to accept a limited lifestyle.
This was not something I was willing to do, so I started searching and I went outside of Western medicine because they had no answers for me. For eight years I studied many different branches of complementary health and energy medicine.
I did get my health back. More important, I found out why I got sick in the first place. I learned about the negative belief systems, the “Emotional Mud” on my spirit, that that affected every area of my life – negatively.
Most important, I learned how to make sure that it never happened again. Using a powerful stress-reduction tool called Emotional Freedom Technique, I was able to break those negative emotional hooks or blocks and wash away the “Emotional Mud”.
I am now free to do the things and be the person I’ve always wanted to be. I’d wanted to be a speaker for thirty five years but didn’t believe I had anything worthwhile to say. I’d always wanted to write but who would want to read anything I’d written?
As I grew in knowledge and experience, I learned that many people felt the same way I had. I started sharing my knowledge with others and found to my amazement that not only did people want to know, that I loved to do it.
After seaching for over half a century, I’d finally found out what I was supposed to do with my life! I love to speak and I’ve written four books and created four DVD courses; including: the Personal Peace Program, “Stress-Free? – Me?”, “Stress-Free Parenting: fact or fiction?” and “Work-Stress? – Not a Problem!”
My greatest joy is to see the changes in my client’s lives as they break their own negative emotional blocks and wash away their own “Emotional Mud”.
So what I do as a stress relief specialist. I work individually with private clients, either in person or over the phone. I present my own seminars and retreats. And I speak to organizations and businesses about their aspects of stress relief.
On Wednesday, June 16th from 7:00 to 10:00 pm in Burnaby, I am presenting a three hour
”Stress-Free? – Me?” seminar. Click on the following link to watch a short video explanation of the seminar.
“Stress-Free? – Me?” – Absolutely! If you are unable to attend the seminar, you can still get the information by checking out
“Easy Stress Free Me!”
I hope you can join us.
Sheryl Stanton
RN, Stress Relief Specialist
Winner of the “Women of Worth” Health and Wellness Award for 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 posted by Sheryl
Do You Remember What a Push Me-Pull You Is?
In the movie, Dr. Doolittle, a man who could talk to the animals, was sent a very unique animal, called a Push Me – Pull You. It had two heads and two sets of front legs. When one half wanted to move forward, the other half would have to move backward. This caused a lot of confusion and disharmony. Most of the time, the animal just stood still.
What is the Push Me-Pull You Syndrome?
Just like the animal, many of us have two parts that are fighting each other. One part wants to make a change in our lives. The other part is getting a pay-off or reward for continuing the behavior and doesn’t want to change. It will usually sabotage our efforts.
This is usually subconscious or below the awareness part of our mind, so we might not even know we are doing it. However, we do know that no matter how badly we may want to change, we never seem to be able to do it.
How Do We Know If We Have the Push Me-Pull You Syndrome?
Just think of the things that you want to do or feel you have to do or need to do. Those are the “Push Me” parts of the syndrome. Some examples could be:
- I want to lose weight
- I need to get a better job
- I have to go to school
- I want to be a better parent
- I need to be a better ….(fill in the blank)
The “Pull Me” part of the syndrome would be whatever reasons you are using for not doing the “Push Me” part.
- For “I want to lose weight” - then men might hit on me and I might not be safe
- For “I need to get a better job” – but they will find out I’m not good enough to do the job
- For “I have to go to school” – but what if I’m not smart enough to do the work; what will people think if I fail
- For “I want to be a better parent” – I’m not a good person, what do I know about being a good parent
- For “I need to be a better….” – but I’m not good enough, smart enough, don’t deserve to have a better —, can’t do it, etc. etc. etc.
Do you get the idea?
What is an example of the Push Me-Pull You Syndrome?
Any time we want to make a change but are not doing it can show the Push Me-Pull You syndrome. Where it is most obvious is when we are trying to change an addiction.
I am going to use the addiction to food as an example because it is the drug of choice for most people. It is also the addiction that I am the most familiar with. The three times in my life when I was overweight were very unhappy times for me.
I used food as a source of comfort – the only comfort I could find at the time. And it was not celery and carrot sticks that comforted me. It was rich, creamy, carbohydrate, sweet and fatty food.
Why do we sabotage our efforts to change?
Because there is a pay-off. We get something out of what we are doing. In my case, I got comfort from eating.
One of my clients was addicted to chocolate. Emotionally to her, chocolate meant love. She was not about to give that chocolate up, without a fight. That is why we sabotage. We perceive what we have as being more valuable, in the moment, than what we want, in the future.
It is just like the small child who is offered a sucker now or an ice cream sundae later. We will choose the sucker now because we need it now and can’t see that waiting will give us something better.
Remember that this all happens at a subconscious level. Consciously, we want to lose weight or get a better job or whatever the “Push Me” part of us is saying. But subconsciously, where all of our decisions are really made, the “Pull Me” part of us is saying that we do not believe that the pay off will be better than what we are getting now.
How do you eliminate the Push Me-Pull You Syndrome?
The most powerful tool I have found, and what worked for me, is Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT. It helped me first to become aware of the negative belief systems (the Pull You) that were controlling my life.
Then it helped me to break that negative conditioning and remove my need for artificial comfort. I lost almost fifty pounds and have kept it off for almost two years now.
If you would like to learn how to use EFT to eliminate the negative conditioning or “Pull Yous” that are keeping you stuck, I invite you to attend the three hour “Stress Free? Me? Seminar that is being held in Burnaby, BC on Wednesday, June 16th from 7 to 10 pm. Click here for more information.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010 posted by Sheryl
Most women have their child’s best interests at heart and want to be good mothers. Unfortunately, children are not born with training manuals pinned to their navels. As a result, most women do not know what they are doing or how well they are fulfilling their roles as mothers.
As the mother of six children myself, I never knew if what I was doing was right. I experimented with my first child as she went through each new age and stage. By the time I figured out how to handle it, she was out of that stage and into another. And what worked for her, didn’t work for the others.
I once knew a man who had no children and six theories on how to raise them. Then he got married and had children of his own. Now, he has six children and no theories.
So, what are the three massive mistakes even smart mothers make that keep them frustrated,overwhelmed, guilty and worried about their children’s future?
Mistake # 3: The Sponge Syndrome
As mother’s we sponge up all of our kids fears and problems. We think it is our problem to fix our kids, no matter how old they are. The first reason this is a mistake, is because it is impossible to do. We can’t “fix” our kids! We can guide them and teach them but they have to learn for themselves.
By overprotecting them and “solving” their problems, we make them weak and dependent on us. Not only that, they will resent us for it! They will feel that we believe they are not capable of looking after themselves.
All we will do is weaken our children, alienate them and make ourselves sick trying to do the impossible.
Mistake # 2: Trying To Do It All Alone
You’ve probably heard the statement: “It takes a village to raise a child.” There is a lot of truth in that. In the old days when people stayed in villages, surrounded by their extended families, there were other people to help, support and train the children. But, in today’s world, we don’t have that as much, if at all. Many mothers are trying to do it alone.
It doesn’t matter if they are sick or tired or working out of the home. The needs of the children still must be met. Often by women who are not having their own needs met or who are emotionally ill equipped to raise a child. They feel isolated, all alone, overwhelmed and exhausted.
They need to connect with other women and create a support network for themselves.
Mistake # 1: Not Taking Care of Their Own Needs
This is probably the biggest problem that the majority of mothers face today! They spend so much time and energy meeting the needs of their children and everyone else, they have no time, energy or resources left to take care of themselves.
Unfortunately, you can’t keep giving from an empty bucket. Eventually, there is nothing left to give. Everything starts to fall apart, including the woman’s health.
A woman’s first priority has to be taking care of her own physical, social and emotional needs. The very best thing she can do for her children is to be healthy herself! She will then interact with her children is a more positive, healthy way. This will allow her children to also respond in healthier, more responsible ways. It truly creates a win-win situation for everyone.
Unfortunately, most women don’t know how to deal with their overwhelming emotions in a positive way. In eight years of intensive research, I found the best tool for eliminating negative emotions to be Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT.
A four-hour Stress-Free Parenting seminar is being held in Surrey on Saturday, May 15th that will teach mothers how to use EFT to eliminate their parenting stress and restore their joy and effectiveness with their children.
or call (604) 302-6374.
Sunday, April 11, 2010 posted by Sheryl
How much of your time do you spend remembering and living in the land of ”shoulda”, “coulda”, “woulda” and “if only”? You know what I mean. “If only I’d done this”; “I shoulda said that”; “I coulda been a … or “I woulda been if only…”
Most of us spend a great deal of time think about the past; reliving negative events in a repeating loop that continue to make us feel bad.
Conversely, how much time do you spend dreaming about the glorious future; living on “Someday Isle”? This is what I did a lot of. I was married to a student husband and had five children under the age of six, with one child who was seriously handicapped.
I was so overwhelmed with stress at that time that my only escape was to live in my mind. I may have been there physically, but in my mind I was on a tropical island somewhere or visiting the pyramids of Egypt. I could even tell you what I was wearing or eating.
The unfortunate result of this is that I have very few memories of my children when they were young. Now, I delight in my grandchildren and think: “my children must have been as cute or as funny”. But I don’t remember because I wasn’t “there” in my mind.
What are you missing or losing out on by not living in the “Now” of your life?
I had a sappy romantic dream last night. The words made me cringe but the story was very meaningful. In my dream, the girl’s true love was trapped in the spirit world and the only way he could be released to come to her is if she did certain things. He kept sending her messages or impressions to do this or go there or get that to free him. But she just kept on dreaming of what her life would be like when she met her dream lover.
Then the scene changed and she was on her death bed: a dried up, lonely bitter old woman who had never met her dream lover.
The scene changed again and this time she was in the spirit world where her lover was but she couldn’t see him and he couldn’t reach her because she spent all her time thinking about the past and what she “shoulda” done.
The tragedy in this dream is that she could have had all she had dreamed about her entire life if she had only followed the promptings or impressions she had received and taken action in her “Now”.
The exact same thing is true with us. We can’t do anything about the past, except learn from it. And the future isn’t here yet. The only thing we have any control over is this moment. In reality, our life is nothing but a series of moments. And the collection of what we do in the moment or “Now” will add up to become our future: good or bad.
There is an old cliché, that although heard enough times to be trite does not make it any less true: “the past is history, the future is a mystery, and the present is a gift–that’s why it’s called the “present.”
One exercise to help you become aware of where your mind actually is, is to do a one hour check for a few days. Get a one hour timer and for a few days, set it to go off every hour that you are awake. Record where your mind was when the timer goes off and see how often you were actually in the “Now”. It will be a huge wakeup call.
One way to make sure you are in the present or “Now” of your life is to rub your fingers on something around you. Feeling the texture of something is a “Now” experience and will help keep you focused on what is happening around you.
By living and working in the “Now” of your life, not only will your life be more enjoyable today, so will your future.
Monday, March 15, 2010 posted by Sheryl
So much of the time, our thoughts are on the future; either in fear or anticipation. Or they are on the past, either remembering the good old days or re-experiencing painful memories.
The problems with this type of thinking are two-fold:
1. If we are dwelling on past negative experiences, we are re-introducing that negative energy into our body. The energy we are in will attract similar energy to us, so we will continue to experience what we don’t want in our lives. The same is true if we are looking at the future with fear. We will attract what we don’t want.
2. If we are dreaming about how good the future is going to be, we are not living in the present. I had years of doing that. I had five children born within six years, one of whom was seriously handicapped. At the same time, I was married to a student husband, so we were desperately poor. I spent all my time dreaming of how much better my life was going to be when…. When my children were all in school, when my husband had a full time job, when, when, when.
What I didn’t realize that I was spending so much time dreaming, that I was not living. I didn’t see the cute, funny things my children did or said. I didn’t appreciate what was good in my life right then – in the moment. I also didn’t realize that my future would depend on how I lived in the moment.
If you spend all your time and energy dreaming about tomorrow, you will never get what you are dreaming about because it is what we do today that determines what our tomorrows are going to be like.
