The problems with this type of thinking are two-fold: 

1.  If we are dwelling on past negative experiences, we are re-introducing that negative energy into our body.  The energy we are in will attract similar energy to us, so we will continue to experience what we don’t want in our lives.  The same is true if we are looking at the future with fear.  We will attract what we don’t want. 

2.   If we are dreaming about how good the future is going to be, we are not living in the present.  I had years of doing that.  I had five children born within six years, one of whom was seriously handicapped.  At the same time, I was married to a student husband, so we were desperately poor.  I spent all my time dreaming of how much better my life was going to be when….  When my children were all in school, when my husband had a full time job, when, when, when. 

What I didn’t realize that I was spending so much time dreaming, that I was not living.  I didn’t see the cute, funny things my children did or said.  I didn’t appreciate what was good in my life right then – in the moment.  I also didn’t realize that my future would depend on how I lived in the moment.

If you spend all your time and energy dreaming about tomorrow, you will never get what you are dreaming about because it is what we do today that determines what our tomorrows are going to be like.

February is Valentine’s month.  This is a time when thoughts turn to romance and “true love’s kiss”.  We dream of having the greatest love of all!  Unfortunately, most of us don’t know what true love is. 

You can have, and deserve to be loved.  Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.  When this foundation if firmly established, the other forms of love will also come.

Having the Olympics in my own back yard (I live in Mission, just one hour east of Vancouver), started me thinking about the times I’ve gone for my own “Gold” and the number of times that I’ve failed.  I’ve tried a number of different businesses: home party plans; network marketing, commodity trading, various sales jobs, management positions, etc.  Also, I’m a registered nurse by profession and still work part time as a nurse. 

I worked very hard at some of those businesses and spent a lot of money I didn’t have, trying to make them successful.  So why weren’t they?  There are many reasons: some good, some bad. For some of them, the timing wasn’t right.    For some, I became disillusioned with the company or I decided that this was not what I wanted to do with my life.  However, with a couple of businesses I gave everything I had, trying to make them successful.  I put in the time, the effort and the money.  I attended the sales training and motivational courses.  I was taught by some of the motivational gurus of our time: Bob Proctor, Brian Tracey, Steven Covey.  I did the Fire Walk with Tony Robbins! 

I had all of the information – but there was no transformation! I should have been making money hand over fist.  But an interesting thing kept  happening.  I would start to succeed and then I would start to sabotage.  I had no idea why.

Now I know why.  I had a negative belief system about my ability to succeed.  I had no idea it was there but it affected everything I tried to do in life.  I believed that I could not succeed; that I didn’t deserve to be successful; that I was a failure.  And I had to be true to that belief system, no matter how untrue or negative it was.  So every time I started to succeed, I found myself out of my comfort, or not comfortable but familiar, zone.  I then unknowingly, started to sabotage my efforts, so that I could get back to where I subconsciously believed I belonged.

Each of us has a belief system about ourselves, usually instilled in our early childhood, before the age of awareness or understanding.  For many of us, that belief system is negative.  It was not instilled deliberately in most cases.  Our parents were going through their own “stuff” and couldn’t give us what they didn’t have themselves.  They did the best they knew how with the level of awareness and understanding they had at the time.   But for many of us, our self esteem was damaged and we grew up with a negative belief system about ourselves.

How do you know if you have a negative belief system?  Just look at the quality of your life: physically, socially, emotionally, financially, in your relationships or performance, etc.  If there are problems, you  have a negative belief system in that area.  The problems will not be eliminated until you change that negative belief, because you have to be true to your belief system.

Although we are not responsible for creating them, we are responsible for continuing to live by them.  Our parents may have “done it to us” but when we move away, we continue to do it to ourselves.

Once we stop blaming our parents, other people or circumstances for our problems and accept that we are responsible for what we do with the rest of our lives, the exciting news is that we can then develop the power to break that negative conditioning.  We can create a better, more affirming belief system and finally be free to do, have or be what we want!

There is a tool that can help you learn what your negative belief system is.  More important, it can then help you to break it!  It took me over fifty years to find it.   The negative belief system that had controlled my entire life is now gone!  I am finally doing what I want to do with my life!  I am succeeding! 

What is the tool?  Emotional Freedom Technique; also called EFT or Tapping.  On Tuesday, February 16th, a three hour seminar is being presented in Abbotsford, that will teach you how to use this tool to break your own negative emotional blocks.  For more information, go to: http://www.SherylStanton.com/stressfreemeseminar.html

On December 18th, I had the privilege of attending the birth of my sixth grandchild and helping to care for him for the first few days of his life.

 I think there are few things more soul-filling than to have a new baby sleep on your shoulder; to lightly touch his velvety skin with your cheek and smell that fleeting new baby smell.

As I held that beautiful baby in my arms, I thought of the six babies that I had given birth to; three of whom are parents themselves now.  People talk about the miracle of birth and I agree; but to me, growth is just as great a miracle.  To think that a newborn, helpless babe can grow up to one day create a child of their own is truly stunning!

But birth and physical growth is a natural event.  We didn’t have anything to do with our birth and until we’re old enough to start making choices that could interfere with the process, we don’t have much control over our physical growth either.

However, we have 100% total control over our personal growth.  This is the time of year when people make, and usually break, New Year’s Resolutions.  You know the ones I’m talking about.  This is the year that I lose weight, get out of debt, start that business, take that holiday, etc. However, statistics show that 90% of New Year’s Resolutions are broken before February 1st.

Why is that?  There are lots of reasons given but through my own experiences and the many years of research I’ve done on this subject, I think it boils down to one answer.  The goal is outside of the person’s belief system about themselves. 

We each have a belief system about who and what we are, and we have to be true to it – even if it is negative and harmful (which it usually is). Our belief systems were installed, usually by our families, and were well established before we even went to school. 

As a stress relief coach, I’ve found that the majority of negative belief systems involve having no value as yourself – only in what you do, being responsible to meet other people’s needs and being a failure, not deserving of good things.

This conditioning is subconscious (below the conscious mind level), so we are not aware that it’s there.  However, until you change that conditioning and remove these negative emotional blocks, you will never be able to grow.

The exciting news is that you can change your belief systems.  You can break the negative emotional blocks that are keeping you from being, doing or having what you want in your life.  The most powerful tool I’ve found to accomplish this, is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). 

I was a motivational course junkie for over 30 years.  I took dozens of self improvement courses.  I was taught by some of the motivational giants: Bob Proctor, Brian Tracey, Steven Covey.  I did the Firewalk with Tony Robbins!  I had all the knowledge about how to improve my life but nothing changed.  Why?  Because I had negative emotional blocks inside, that I didn’t even know were there, that I had to be true to.  They would not allow me to apply the information so that I could make the desired transformation.

Through EFT, I learned about these limiting belief systems.  More important, I learned how to break them.  Most important of all, I did break them!  I am finally free to be who I was always meant to be!  I can’t begin to tell you what a difference that has made in the way I feel about myself and in my life.

So, if you are sick and tired of the same old, same old, there is a way out.  You can start again.  Not only can you start growing again, you can actually experience a rebirth – only this time, you will control the process.  Are you ready? 

For information on how to break negative emotional conditioning, contact Sheryl Stanton at www.SherylStanton.com, by email: stressrelief@shaw.ca or by phone: (604) 302-6374.

Pregnant woman

My daughter, Shelayne, is expecting her second child and is five days past her due date. 

I understand how frustrating that is.  I was pregnant six times and my first two children were both three weeks overdue.  I thought I would go crazy!  Now, they won’t let you go longer than two weeks before they will induce the baby.

But, in the meantime, you just have to wait. 

I feel guilty even complaining about waiting myself, but my life is also on hold.    I promised that I would come for a week after the baby was born to look after her two year old son and help with the meals and housework so that she could rest.  She has no family or close friends to help her.

Shelayne lives twelve hours away in Fort St. James in northern BC and I live on the Coast, about an hour east of Vancouver.  I have to book a flight to Prince George and then her husband has to drive for two hours to come and get me.  I have no intention of driving in the snow up there. 

I also have to book the time off work, but I can’t do anything until she has the baby.  I am working as a nurse over Christmas too, so I have to be back before Chrismas.

I’d been complaining and fretting about something I couldn’t do anything about – and in the process was not getting done what I needed to do.  I had basically put my life on hold.

On Sunday, I realized what I was doing.  I remembered an old saying: “when the time for action arrives, the time for preparation has past.”  I had lists in my mind of what I needed to do before I went up to my daughter but I had done none of them.

I got busy.  I wrapped all the gifts that had been bought, finished decorating the house, bought the few remaining gifts, worked on the Christmas Eve Party and Christmas dinner menu with my older daughter and brought up the suitcases and started to pack.  Just getting busy, doing what I could, took a lot of the pressure off.

Then I had a good look at the calendar, thought about it and decided to be pro-active.  If I was going to stay for a week and still be back home to work at Christmas, I would have to leave in the next couple of days.  I checked the flights options, chose one and called my daughter to confirm that her husband could pick me up and booked the last flight available.

So, I am leaving early Wednesday morning.  Shelayne will be six days overdue then.  Hopefully she will have her baby in the next couple of days.  Again, I can’t do anything about that, but I have done everything I can do on my side – and now, I will leave it up to God.

There are so many things in life that we have no control over, that we just have to wait for.  But the one thing we do have control over is ourselves and what we do about what is happening – or not happening – in our lives.  We can choose to sit and stress or we can choose to stagnate and do nothing, or we can choose to do everything within our power to improve the situation.

If you are feeling stuck, there is a powerful tool that can make a huge difference in your life.  For more information, go to: Easy Stress Free Me!

Christmas is supposed to be, and can truly be, the most wonderful time of the year.  But, unfortunately, for many people – especially women – it is not.  According to the Life Stress Test, Christmas has a stress level of 15 out of a possible 100.

There are many reasons for this.  If you are already feeling stressed with the daily load of time, energy and money commitments you’re trying to balance, the extra demands of Christmas can truly be overwhelming.

 What are the extra demands of Christmas?

 1.  Money – Money to buy or make the gifts, the cost of the extra party food, payment for the Christmas concerts and programs that you may attend, money to give to Christmas charities, etc.

 2.  Work – Most of the extra work of Christmas falls on the women.  We buy or make the gifts, we wrap them, we decorate, we make the special party foods, we are the ones who get involved in the different school, club and church Christmas concerts, choirs, programs, service projects, etc.

 3.  Time – On top of our already heavy loads, we have to make the time to do all of the extra work.

 4.  Relationships – I know that we all wish we had family relationships that were loving and supportive, but for many of us that just isn’t true.  We might be able to avoid seeing “X” during the year but on special holidays, like Christmas – we can’t.  

This is also when we feel the pain of missing loved ones who have died or who are not physically able to be with us.  Feelings of loneliness are probably the greatest at Christmas time.

 5.  Expectations – The media always presents the ideal Christmas.  However, the reality is that many, if not most of us, do not have “Hallmark” Christmases.  You know what I mean:  the loving, joyful, beautifully dressed family gathers around the dining room table groaning with delicious, artistically prepared food.  Then, after a wonderful meal, the joyful, happy family goes into the beautifully decorated living room to the gorgeous tree where they open and delight in the mountain of perfectly chosen gifts for everyone. 

Who has that?  Almost nobody!  But we make ourselves exhausted, and, often miserable, as we try to live up to and compare our own lives to this fantasy. 

 As the former Queen of Christmas Stress, I have come to believe that all of this busyness and the incredible commercialism of Christmas might actually be part of Satan’s plan.  In all of this busyness, where does Christ fit in? 

The true message of Christmas has nothing to do with presents, food, parties, clothes, decorations, etc. etc. etc.  After all, the first Christmas had none of those things.

It doesn’t matter what your age is, whether you are alone or surrounded by people, whether you are rich or poor.  The true message of Christmas is the unfathomable gift of the Son of God – sent to earth to save us all!

 Maybe the best gift we can give ourselves and others this Christmas is to take a serious look at what we are doing.  What will happen if we drop this tradition?  Do we really need to do this?..or that?  Can we delegate, delete or simplify?

 Let’s make the effort to put a little more Peace and Joy back into OUR Christmas.  My Christmas wish for each of us is that we will truly feel the Christmas Spirit this year. 

 Sheryl Stanton R.N., Stress Relief Coach

How many times have we seen abused women return to live with their abuser?  How many times have women who have escaped an abusive relationship, go into another one?
 

Woman Being Physically Abused

As a registered nurse and stress relief coach, a large number of my clients either are in or have been in abusive relationships.  In almost every case, when I review their history, there has been abuse of some form in their childhood.

Abuse takes many forms.  It can be sexual, physical, verbal or emotional.  The results are usually the same.  The child grows up believing that they have no worth and that they deserve to be abused. 

After all, to children, their parents are God.  If “God” thinks that they deserve to be treated badly, then it must be true.  Also, children have no options.  They are not mature enough to realize they have any rights; let alone stand up for them.  Children think that the way they live must be the way that everyone lives.

This negative conditioning is usually created before the child reaches the age of understanding.  Sometimes they will have no memory of the abuse because the subconscious (or below conscious awareness) mind buries memories that are too emotionally painful.

But the results are obvious.  This negative emotional conditioning creates a belief system that they are not good enough and deserve to be abused. That is why women stay in abusive relationships – and why outside intervention often does not work.  They have to be true to their belief system.

The only way the abuse cycle can be stopped is to break the negative conditioning that makes up the woman’s belief system that she deserves to be treated badly.  It is an inside job. 

 The most effective tool I have found for breaking these negative belief systems is Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT.   EFT is able to get down to the subconscious core abuse conditioning and eliminate them. 

Once these negative belief systems are broken, the woman will know that she deserves to be treated better and will no longer tolerate the abuse.  She will become stronger and able to form healthy relationships.

For information on how to break negative emotional conditioning, go  to www.SherylStanton.com  or email stressrelief@shaw.ca

Seagull

div class=mceTempDo you ever feel like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew?  Just like this seagull, where the starfish he is trying to eat is half his size. /div
div class=mceTempI watched that seagull for about half an hour as he picked up the starfish, tried to take a bite and then dropped it on the ground again.  I don’t know if he was ever able to eat it or not./div
div class=mceTempI thought of how that seagull reminded me of my own life.  So many times in the past, I have tried to do too much.  I used to laughingly say that if I didn’t have at least half a dozen projects on the go, that my life was boring and I’d go looking for something else to add./div
div class=mceTempfont style=position: absolute;overflow: hidden;height: 0;width: 0a href=http://www.videnov.com/#1084;#1077;#1073;#1077;#1083;#1080; #1074;#1072;#1088;#1085;#1072;/a/fontThe problem with living your life that way is that you don’t  have time to do a really outstanding job of anything and/or you don’t get to enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done.  I’ve heard it described as taking time to smell the roses./div
div class=mceTempWhy do we do that to ourselves?  Sometimes, circumstances make our lives incredibly busy.  For example, I had five children born within six years; one of whom was seriously handicapped.  That was an incredibly busy and stressful time of my life!/div
div class=mceTempBut I added to the stress by taking on other things:/div
div class=mceTemp1.  I worked part time as a nurse./div
div class=mceTemp2.  I started a home-based business./div
div class=mceTemp3.  I was very active in our church, both in church callings and in the choir./div
div class=mceTemp4.  I kept journals for myself and my five children./div
div class=mceTemp5.  I made quilts for each member of the family, etc. etc. etc./div
div class=mceTempI understand now what was driving me to perform back then.  I had a negative belief system that I had no value as myself, only in what I did.  So, I had to keep producing – just to feel like I was of worth.  Of course, I had absolutely no idea that I had a negative belief system like that.  It was subconscious (below my conscious level of understanding).  But it determined every aspect of my life and eventually wrecked my health./div
div class=mceTempDoes that sound familiar to you?  Are you unhappy, unhealthy, unfulfilled, unproductive, unprofitable?  If you are, I understand because I’ve been there myself.  I learned about the negative belief systems I had and I also learned how to break them.  If you want to know more, visit my website: a title=Sheryl Stanton’s website href=http://www.SherylStanton.comwww.SherylStanton.com/a/div

Collum, as a puppy, deliberately sitting on our cat and laughing

First of all, you have to realize that I don’t even like dogs. I am a cat person. I didn’t want the dog poop in the back yard, feeling the pressure of having to walk the dog or the guilt if I didn’t. I didn’t want the barking at night or the hair all over the house. You don’t have any of those problems with cats.

For years I told my husband he would have to choose between a dog or me. But for Christmas, eight years ago, the decision of whether or not to get a dog was taken out of my, and my husband’s hands. Without my knowledge and certainly without my consent, our adult children got together and bought a puppy for my husband.

When they brought this tiny ball of fur with ears longer than his body into the living room and gave him to my husband, it was love at first sight. What could I do? I was stuck with a dog. He was a mix: half Australian Cattle Dog and half Rotweiler, with the coloring of the Rotweiler but the size of the Australian Cattle Dog.

We didn’t know what to call him, so that is what we named him: C0llum.

All the reasons I didn’t want a dog still applied. He did poop all over the yard. We didn’t have the heart or discipline to keep him outside so he became an inside/outside dog, which meant that he tracked mud and dirt, rocks and garbage into the house. Our house was covered in dog hair.

Because my husband was gone twelve hours a day, working and commuting, it became my job to walk the dog. So I did feel guilty if I didn’t walk him. And I had to endure the sad looks and hanging head when I left him at home.

Our dog, who was gentle with everyone, absolutely hated the mailman and turned into this vicious sounding attack dog at the very sight of him. The mailman refused to deliver our mail any more, so we had to pick it up at the post office. We even had to pay for it.

But an interesting thing happened. It is very hard to maintain indifference to something who turns into a paraxym of joy at the very sight of you! He was always waiting at the door when I came home, wagging his tail in delight, grinning his doggy grin and pushing against me until I would pet him and scratch his ears.

He was always as physically close to me as he could get. He slept in front of my bedroom door. Whenever and whereever I sat down, he would lie down at my feet – usually on my feet. To the point that I was always either stepping on him or tripping over him. Callum would put his head on my knee and look up at me with big soulful eyes at mealtime, hoping I would slip him a treat.

We have a suite upstairs which we rent to our daughter Shauna, her husband and their three children: age 3 3/4, 2 and 3 months. Shauna used to call C0llum up to their suite three times a day after meal time. He was better than the vacuum for cleaning up food spills.

Collum loved to play with the grand children. He patiently endured having them crawl of over him, pull his ears and tail. When they got too rough, he moved away.

He protected our home and we felt safe with him there. No one ever approached our yard without us knowing about it.

And then within a day, he was gone. For someone who never wanted a dog in the first place, he has left an amazingly big hole in our family and in my heart.

It’s Not What You Think!   Until You Do Learn; You Won’t Be Able to Get Rid of It ! 

 In a hurry and want to book your place right away?     

At one time, I would have told you that I knew the causes of my stress.  I would have said:   

 -        Having five children in six years: four boys each born sixteen months apart  

-        Having a seriously handicapped child who required constant nursing care until his death at the age of seven  

-        Living for seventeen years without a secure income  

-        Living with the constant disapproval and judgment of my extended family  

-        Having a struggling relationship with my husband

I thought I was doing just fine.  I had lots of energy and believed I could always find the answers; I could do anything.  I thought I was handling the stress very well – until I got sick!  One day my body just shut down and I couldn’t do anything at all!  For three months I lived in bed or on the couch.  

The doctors had no answers that worked.  I was told at the age of 45 that I was getting older and would have to accept a limited lifestyle.  This was not something I was willing to do.  I started studying outside of Western medicine.  For eight years I took many, many different courses in complementary health and energy therapy.

I found my answers and I got my health back! 

But more important, I learned why I got sick in the first place, and how to make sure that it never happened again!

 So how did I get my health back? What did I learn about why I got sick in the first place?

These are answers that I want to share with you on a complimentary call being held next Thursday, October 15^th, 7:00 to 8:00 pm P.D.T.  

Using exciting new technology, you will actually be able to participate, instead of just listening to me. 

 Grab Your Place Here! 

So what will I be sharing with you on Thursday?

• The true cause of stress in your life.  You will finally be free of all those external stressors!                                                  
• You will understand why you do things that you don’t want to do – or, why you don’t do things you do want to do – getting results you don’t want to have!                                                         
• I will show you how you can take back your power and become the person you want to be – and have the ability to be!

Are there things that you dream about doing?                      

 Is there something you really want but can’t seem to get, no matter how hard you try?  

If you could create more money in your life, have less stress and more fun, what would your life be like?

• What would you be doing with your time?
• How would you be spending your days?
• What dreams have you put off that you would be living?

The first step is to take back control of your life.  You can do it.  I did and I absolutely know that you can too.  On the call, I will be introducing a powerful tool to make that happen!

Here is that link again to RESERVE YOUR SPOT in this complimentary, interactive call.

I’m dedicated to helping you make your world better – one step at a time.  

Sheryl Stanton RN                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Stress Relief Coach

P.S.  I know how busy you are and how easy it is to put off registering for a call.  I get the same avalanche of emails you do.  However, I promise you that you will get something out of this call that will help you have less stress, more fun, better health and more money in your life.  You deserve the best and the world deserves your best.  Reserve Your Spot right now!

P.P.S.  If you really can’t make it, the call will be recorded, so you can listen to the recording.  You won’t be able to participate in the live, interactive dialog and activities though.  I highly recommend you register today to make sure that you get a spot.